Teardrops
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Chubs and I fell into deep conservation while we were on our way home in 196. Yea, we decided to take the bus home from Tanjong Pagar to Bedok. Trying something different from the norm.
From being housemates and neighbours to marriage to kiddos. Yea, you read it right. At one point of time the thought of marriage has never crossed my mind. Like by what age I should be settling down and stuffs like that. Come to think of it, what if I never even get the chance to taste marriage life. Goodness!!
But I still dont feel my age though. I dont feel like a young adult which I am supposed to. The interns in the office even thought that Im one of them since I never dress up so formally to work. Except for days when I need to go to a school to teach that is. ^_^
And the topic jumps about matters concerning the heart. Do you fall in love easily? That was the question thrown. Well, do I? Im against that definitely. Liking someone perhaps but falling in love? Definitely a no-no.
In my perception, one need to go through three stages where love is concern.
1) Liking/Infatuation: Everyone goes through this, dont you?
This normally happens when you meet someone good-looking in the street and find him cute, etc..
2) Fondness: One step away from love.
An example would be Dage and Mr Policeman. But I came to realise that I treasure their friendship more above anything else. Eversince then, Dage has been such a great friend and brother to me. While the latter and I remain friends.
3) Love: Must I elaborate more? I doubt so.
This is where you'll received a hunch or your sixth sense will just tell you that he is the one. The one that you'll or you might be spending the rest of your life with.
From being housemates and neighbours to marriage to kiddos. Yea, you read it right. At one point of time the thought of marriage has never crossed my mind. Like by what age I should be settling down and stuffs like that. Come to think of it, what if I never even get the chance to taste marriage life. Goodness!!
But I still dont feel my age though. I dont feel like a young adult which I am supposed to. The interns in the office even thought that Im one of them since I never dress up so formally to work. Except for days when I need to go to a school to teach that is. ^_^
And the topic jumps about matters concerning the heart. Do you fall in love easily? That was the question thrown. Well, do I? Im against that definitely. Liking someone perhaps but falling in love? Definitely a no-no.
In my perception, one need to go through three stages where love is concern.
1) Liking/Infatuation: Everyone goes through this, dont you?
This normally happens when you meet someone good-looking in the street and find him cute, etc..
2) Fondness: One step away from love.
An example would be Dage and Mr Policeman. But I came to realise that I treasure their friendship more above anything else. Eversince then, Dage has been such a great friend and brother to me. While the latter and I remain friends.
3) Love: Must I elaborate more? I doubt so.
This is where you'll received a hunch or your sixth sense will just tell you that he is the one. The one that you'll or you might be spending the rest of your life with.
This love will lead to your own happiness, giving your fullest attention to him. Thus blinded by desire.
On this very day a history was marked. On this very day was when everything happened. In fact on this very day, I was on cloud nine. It was the most memorable among all.
We were best of friends 7yrs back. Shit happens but we managed to reconcile our friendship back 5yrs ltr. His sheer determination moved me. He managed to break through the wall of my heart. He managed to mend my broken heart and everything just fall into place. Eversince then, my liking to him has turned into fondness which has escalated to love. Yes, I really do mean love.
Love made me forget all my worries and sorrows. He was the first I shared my future dreams with. Say love made me blind and I gave my whole heart away to him. But along the way, somehow or rather, it was left hanging. Indirectly, I realised that I made a mistake. By sending him one message which says it all. Even till now, I regret upon my own stupidity. I should have just wait upon all bleak shades of grey.
Everyone thought I am over him by now. Oh well, to be frank not really. I still do think of him now and then though Im looking forward. As much I hate it when people update me of his well-being, I am glad that he is doing all well and fine. Happy with his life, meeting up new people and all.
Most thought that, especially Mr Policeman, I need a bf as my birthday present. Do I look that despo peeps? Aigoo!! What I need is just for me to gain back my smiley self again. Im not looking nor searching. There is no room for anyone in here. The space is still taken up by him.
As you've read earlier, I gave my whole heart away to him. Yes, I've been in and out of love throughout my whole life. But he was the only one whom I gave my entire heart to. As the saying goes when one is in love, one tend to do stupid things. But those stupid things are treasurable. Sometimes I feel that the memories of us are hunting me down. Hmm.. Memorable indeed.
To Zul,
The time spent with you was such a memorable one. Though we made a pact that no matter what happen we'll still remain as friends. But I guess it's kinda hard to do so. Deepest apology if ever in any way I've hurt you with spoken words or actions. Be it within my conscious or not. There were days I wished that I could turn back time. Still do. Still am. Nonetheless, you're the best that I ever had. All the best for your future endeavours and I do hope to see you around sometime aite. As friends at least.
Have you ever had someone stealing your heart away, you'd give anything to make them feel the same? Well, I did..
".. He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
It's the song in a car I keep singing
Don't know why I do .."
[[* Words burried in your heart _
