Lullaby
Sunday, November 04, 2007
A long, whiny entry up ahead. I just need this space to rant out my agony, disagreements and those of such relations. Leave while you can as it may bore you to death. You have been warned.
Anyhow, as we were busy having our physical training last night, the husky voice makes me wanna groove to it though it was a Raya song. Fendi, the winner of the Solo category for LTD, was there entertaining the guests for some Raya event that was held at the CC’s MPH. Everyone was like “OMG!! It’s Fendi!” Okie, I’m exaggerating the fact. Hehe... I guess I was the only soul who was very anxious. Managed to send my flying smile when we ran passed him while he was chit-chatting at the basketball court. Despite feeling tired and having butt cramps while running. Hehe.. Nevertheless, I found out that my little cute juniors and others wanted to take a shot with him but didn’t dare to ask for it. >_<
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To dearie besites Chubs & Jan, my apology about today. Was under the weather so was not able to go to Roszana’s wedding. Heard she was damn gorgeous. =]
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Just as I thought I had it all handled in the mind physically and thus emotionally, the sight of seeing someone online made the heart triggers and mental state shaken once again. But it was not as bad as before though. Thank God on that.
Confided in Chubs though it was the first after God knows since when was the last time I did so. Her take, you may ask. She thinks that the pretty boy that I’m interesting in is a rebound act and I’m still holding onto my past. Deep down I know it isn’t any rebound we’re talking here and deep down too, I can’t forgo my past. Well, she’s right about the latter. Fyi, I managed to do so but memories kept creeping its way in. If only I’ve the power like Snape or Harry to just block the mind. Sheesh!!
You can’t expect me to completely forget about what had taken place in a split second or within a snap of the fingers. I need time to make this a closure. I need time to forget it all though it hurts as much to do so knowing that deep down I do crave for his warmth. Though it had been estimate four months of unstable emotions ragging in my soul. Pathetic one might say.
My crying. My tears have been my lullaby. Oh Dear God, please help me. Give me the courage to move on. Give me the courage to let go of the past. Give me the courage to forget about him. Give me the courage to have a closure. I need to put this to an end. Oh dear God, I can’t deal with any heartbreaks anymore. I really can’t. A friend just asked if I’m together with him. W/o knowing, tears just fell. Looks like its lullaby time soon.
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I’ve been keeping myself busy with work and the presence of the students around me does make me at ease, I must say. Too bad it’s the school holidays now and probably will only see them again in two months time. I now seek the companion of Besties, Kak Idah, Seeha, Azmi, and of course dearest cranky partner, Jip.
-----
Walking away, leaving no traces..
[[* Unexplainable feelings *]]
Anyhow, as we were busy having our physical training last night, the husky voice makes me wanna groove to it though it was a Raya song. Fendi, the winner of the Solo category for LTD, was there entertaining the guests for some Raya event that was held at the CC’s MPH. Everyone was like “OMG!! It’s Fendi!” Okie, I’m exaggerating the fact. Hehe... I guess I was the only soul who was very anxious. Managed to send my flying smile when we ran passed him while he was chit-chatting at the basketball court. Despite feeling tired and having butt cramps while running. Hehe.. Nevertheless, I found out that my little cute juniors and others wanted to take a shot with him but didn’t dare to ask for it. >_<
-----
To dearie besites Chubs & Jan, my apology about today. Was under the weather so was not able to go to Roszana’s wedding. Heard she was damn gorgeous. =]
-----
Just as I thought I had it all handled in the mind physically and thus emotionally, the sight of seeing someone online made the heart triggers and mental state shaken once again. But it was not as bad as before though. Thank God on that.
Confided in Chubs though it was the first after God knows since when was the last time I did so. Her take, you may ask. She thinks that the pretty boy that I’m interesting in is a rebound act and I’m still holding onto my past. Deep down I know it isn’t any rebound we’re talking here and deep down too, I can’t forgo my past. Well, she’s right about the latter. Fyi, I managed to do so but memories kept creeping its way in. If only I’ve the power like Snape or Harry to just block the mind. Sheesh!!
You can’t expect me to completely forget about what had taken place in a split second or within a snap of the fingers. I need time to make this a closure. I need time to forget it all though it hurts as much to do so knowing that deep down I do crave for his warmth. Though it had been estimate four months of unstable emotions ragging in my soul. Pathetic one might say.
My crying. My tears have been my lullaby. Oh Dear God, please help me. Give me the courage to move on. Give me the courage to let go of the past. Give me the courage to forget about him. Give me the courage to have a closure. I need to put this to an end. Oh dear God, I can’t deal with any heartbreaks anymore. I really can’t. A friend just asked if I’m together with him. W/o knowing, tears just fell. Looks like its lullaby time soon.
-----
I’ve been keeping myself busy with work and the presence of the students around me does make me at ease, I must say. Too bad it’s the school holidays now and probably will only see them again in two months time. I now seek the companion of Besties, Kak Idah, Seeha, Azmi, and of course dearest cranky partner, Jip.
-----
Walking away, leaving no traces..
[[* Unexplainable feelings *]]
